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Transcript of Ernest For Hire episodes
Season One GoCity Elementary Ernest: '''I got fired from my general store, kids! What will I do? By the way, there's no time to do the Noodle Dance. '''Peanut: '''GoCity Elementary is hiring. They need more teachers. '''Ernest: '''Great thinking, Peanut! scene switches to GoCity Elementary '''Principal Walker: '''Now, Mr. Otter, classes begin at 7:30. bell rings Oh. It's already 7:30. Perfect timing. goes in the classroom '''Ernest: '''I'm supposed to be teaching in this cramped room? The students enter the room and they scramble into their seats Good morning, class. I'll be your substitute for the day. My name is Mr. Otter. 'Boy: '''Wow! Our teacher is an animal! '''Nerd: '''He's anthropomorphic! '''Ernest: '''Yeah. Anyway, at a piece of paper the teacher said you must do a 25-page report on Niagara Falls. Get started, kids! '''Everyone (except Ernest): '''Aww man! walks to the teacher desk '''Ernest: '''Now I can soothe my nerves. a newspaper '''Boy: '''Teacher, I need help! '''Ernest: '''With...? '''Boy: '''Where is the Niagara Falls located at? '''Ernest: '''Hmmm... Ontario, Canada. '''Nerd: '''You know, you can just use my notes. '''Boy: '''Thank you! girl chews on her pencil '''Ernest: '''You, over there! Stop chewing on your pencil! '''Girl: '''But I'm chewing on my pencil. I'm trying to concentrate. '''Ernest: '''Whatever. Go to the principal's office! girl walks out of the classroom, angry '''Ernest: '''Hey, kid! Stop smiling! Detention! boy walks out of the classroom '''Ernest: '''Hey, you over there! What are you reading? '''Kid: '''My library book. '''Ernest: '''Read faster! Detention! You, why are you smiling? '''Lad: '''It's Thursday. '''Ernest: '''Detention! Hey, stop being idle and do your work! '''Youth: '''But I'm looking at the clock. '''Ernest: '''I don't care. Detention, you insolent fool! '''Bully: '''Substitute, you suck. '''Ernest: '''How ''dare you ''talk to a grown-up like that! This will disgrace my family name! bully shoots a paper spit ball with a straw at Ernest '''Ernest: '''I'm displeased! bully throws a paper airplane at Ernest's glasses '''Ernest: '''Principal's office, now! '''Bully: '''Oh great! '''Ernest: '''Detention for everyone for being off task! student leaves the classroom '''Ernest: '''Phew. I'm glad that's over. Walker enters the room Is there something wrong, boss? '''Principwal Walker: '''Unfortunately, yes. '''Ernest: '''Alright. Spill the beans, mister. '''Principal Walker: '''I heard that you have been sending your students to my office for smiling, looking at the clock, reading their book, and other foolish nonsense. Don't you know reading is part of their education? '''Ernest: '''I'm sorry, sir. I just didn't get enough sleep last night. You see, I was talking with my supervisor for two hours la--- '''Principal Walker: '''Ernest, I might have to release you. '''Ernest: '''WOO-HOO! I get to leave early! '''Principal Walker: '''Actually, I meant that you're fired. silence '''Ernest: '''PEANUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!! McDonald's '''Ernest: '''Ugh. I got fired from that teacher job. '''Opal: '''Did you know that McDonald's is hiring? '''Ernest: '''Great thinking, honey! scene switches to McDonald's '''Ernest: '''Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? '''Customer: '''Yes. I would like six Quarter Pounders with extra cheese and no pickles, two large Cokes, eight medium fries, a McChicken, three Filet-O-Fishes, and a salad. '''Ernest: '''I'm sorry, can you repeat that? '''Customer: '''I'll repeat myself one more time. Six Quarter Pounders with extra cheese and no pickles, two large Cokes, eight medium fries, a McChicken, three Filet-O-Fishes, and a salad. bursts out laughing '''Ernest: '''Dang, fatty, maybe you should order less stuff. '''Customer: '''You know what? I'm ditching this restaurant for Burger King! off '''Ernest: '''That would've cost him a lot. Duck arrives '''Ernest: '''Flick? HOW THE HECK CAN YOU DRIVE?! '''Flick: '''Well... '''Ernest: '''Spill it, Flick! Spill it, or I'll call your mom! '''Flick: '''Okay! I got hungry, so I stole my mom's car from the garage, and I decided to come here. I crashed into a parked car three times, but I'm okay. '''Ernest: '''I'll give you a chance; I won't tell her what happened. Now, what would you like? '''Flick: '''Food. '''Ernest: '''Of course there's food! This is friggin' McDonald's! '''Flick: '''Uhhh... give me a hot dog. '''Ernest: '''That's a discontinued item. Order something else. '''Flick: '''Ummm... do you guys have any spaghetti? '''Ernest: '''No. '''Flick: '''Cheese and quackers, I'm leaving! '''Ernest: '''Phew. man drives to the window '''Man: '''Excuse me, can I have an Egg McMuffin? '''Ernest: '''Sorry sir, but we serve breakfast at 6 AM. It's only 2 PM. Order something else. '''Man: 'voice No. I'm not accepting that. I won't leave until an Egg McMuffin is on my hands. '''Ernest: '''Sir, sir, please calm down. Order something else off the menu. We don't serve breakfast at this time. '''Man: '''YES YOU DO! '''Ernest: '''No we don't. '''Man: '''Give me a clear explanation why. '''Ernest: '''We just don't. man smashes the window with his bare fists WHAT THE FLICK?! man exits his car and breaks open the window. He punches Ernest in the nose hard OUCH! '''Man: '''You fat ape! slaps him '''Man: Y'AUGGGHH! 'Ernest: '''C'mon, it wasn't that hard. manager walks in '''Manager: '''Is there a ruckus going on in here? '''Man: '''He slapped me in the face for asking if y'all served breakfast! '''Ernest: '''Actually, he smashed the window with his bare hands, and punched me in the nose. Hard. So I had to defend myself and--- '''Manager: '''Mr. Otter, I'm sorry to say this, but you're fired. '''Ernest: '''As Flick would say... CHEESE AND QUACKERS! GameStop '''Ernest: '''I got fired from McDonald's. What now? '''Opal: '''Did you know that GameStop was hiring? '''Ernest: '''Please tell me you're joking. I don't know ''anything about video games! '''Opal: '''You don't ''have ''to know a lot about video games. to GameStop Category:Transcripts Category:Ernest for Hire